So I know that Meags hasn't updated my blog for the last little bit of the mission, so I'll do that sometime.
Anyways, these are my real alive feelings on being home. It has been strange. Really strange, but really good? Upon getting close to going home I feel like Heavenly Father really tried to show me exactly what I needed to do and what attitude I needed to have so I could handle the situation. I felt "prepared" to go home if that makes sense. One day I was flippin through Liahonas and I found this talk from Elder Holland about Lot's wife and not looking back. Here is a power statement from the talk: " In short, her attachment to the past outweighed her confidence in the future. That, apparently, was at least part of her sin". That hit me SO hard. I couldn't be like ohhhh man, I just wish I was in Brasil, wow I want to be on my mission, my mission was the best time ever and I will never be as happy again because that was just the best. false. Here is another gem: "The past is to be learned from but not lived in. We look back to claim the embers from glowing experiences but not the ashes. And when we have learned what we need to learn and have brought with us the best that we have experienced, then we look ahead, we remember that faith is always pointed toward the future" YES! Yes, that was exactly what I needed to hear. I have learned AMAZING things on my mission and have had AMAZING experiences, but I need to take that and try and improve even more. Sister Sirmans (another sister who is my instant BFF and was going home too) and I had a discussion about progression, and how each and everyone of us need progression. If we stayed on our missions our entire lives, we wouldn't progress! We need our missions. We really do, but the 18 month mission is part of a much bigger mission...and that is called life. It is like when we are trained on the mission. You get trained and it is like boom, be a star missionary. Well we were trained for 18/24 months to be the best member missionaries, and to know how to constantly and always help the Lord's work. So here are some gems of my first week:
Awkwardness:
I have honestly been awkward my ENTIRE life. Once on the mission, my sweet daughter (hahahhaha we hated the term "daughter") Sister Falcao told me "You are the most awkward person I have ever met, you just know how to play it off." Touche, Sister Falcao, touche. I feel like me being awkward is like people who have a disability, like blindness for example. Once in Lorena, I met a man who was blind but looked me straight in the eye. But he was blind. He learned how to deal. So it is to my awkwardness. People look at me and they say comments like, "Hey you aren't too bad!" Yeah, well I am faking it people, because I am awkward as heck.
So I went on my first date today. It was kind of hilarious because I just kept feeling like okay I am alone with a boy... ALERT ALERT ALERT WHERE IS MY COMPANION I CAN'T EVEN DO THIS. It was a lunch date and let me just tell you, I am a mess. We were chatting and eating and then some of my sweet pork salad fell out of my mouth....oh haaaaaai that's cool. Also, I just talked about my mission the whole time. Good times.
Missing Pangs:
The second day I got home my mom took me out to lunch. "Hey get ready Tiff!" Okay. Got on an outfit that looked atrocious, and then was like okay, badge. Badge badge badge, I need my badge. Then I realized I don't wear a badge anymore. Sad.
At the same lunch some guy was talking to his friend and said the word "SISTER" really loudly. I frantically looked around for who was calling me. No one was calling me.
That night my dad took me out to dinner and to thank the waitress I cheerfully said "Obrigada!" Then my family just stared. And I was like you guys, what? I said thank you. "You said it in Portuguese Tiff" Oh...
Then this week Aurora had her Evening of Excellence in Young Women's and I came along. I decided to look at my mission plaque in the hall. oh.my.gosh. Worst thing ever. Tears instantly swelled up and then mom was like okay we are leaving. We drove for a while then I broke down in the car and bawwwwwwwwled. You know it is hard. You really miss it. But I have found that if we just take our experiences and don't look back, and keep on being faithful, you'll be just fine.
Most Commonly Asked Questions to a RM:
"So how was your mission?" In those exact words. My answer: The most incredible experience I have had in my entire life.
"So what are your plans?" Work, maybe do a class or two online at ASU and go up to UVU/BYU (if I get in) for summer semester.
"So how are ya feelin?" I feel weird.
"So are you dating anyone?" NO. LIKE, I got home a week ago. BYE.
"So what did you like best about Brasil?" The people. Hands down the people. I love my Brasileiros.
Missionary Moment:
So I went to my Mom's work today to drop her off something and she goes, hey there are these people I want you to meet, I have told them all about you throughout your mission. Okay! So I went over to talk this older couple who were the sweetest ever and they just asked me all about my mission. Turns out they are non-members. My mom comes back around and laughingly just says, they are Mormons they just don't know it yet. And the man just says yeah I don't drink,smoke, or drink coffee. So we get to talking and talk about my areas, and how some were pretty Catholic and he told me about his own family and how his mother was a Protestant and his father was Catholic and how they just always fought and he felt it shouldn't be that way. YES EXACTLY. His wife then chimes in, you know I believe that all religion just started with people just having different opinions and then branching off, like Henry the 8th, he started the Church of England because the Catholic church wouldn't grant him a divorce. UH YEAH. So then I asked if they had met with the missionaries before, and the only the husband had once. So then I thought okay, calma, calma, Tiff. So I invited them to my homecoming this Sunday! And they are COMING! I could've done like 20 happy jumps. I am grateful for my mission. I am grateful for the experiences and blessings that the Lord has so generously given me. I am grateful for Christ and His perfect example. I am grateful for all the miracles I have seen. I am grateful that the Lord is still giving me oppurtunities to be a missionary. What a beautiful life we all live.
Elder Holland's Talk:
https://www.lds.org/ensign/2010/01/the-best-is-yet-to-be?lang=eng
